Murdered woman lived in fear and isolation

<p>The recent murder of a Petaluma woman, allegedly by her husband, underscored the difficult plight of domestic-violence victims.</p><!-- Nothing to do. The paragraph has already been output --><p>Buapha Mullennix, 36, was shot and killed at around 10 p.m. on Saturday night in her family's home on the 1300 block of McNeil Avenue. Her husband, Ken Mullennix, 49, immediately notified a police dispatcher that he was responsible. </p><p>Buapha Mullennix grew up in Thailand, and met her husband when he was living there, and working at a construction job. They moved — along with her daughter from a previous marriage — to California before their 10-year-old daughter was born, and moved to Petaluma a few years ago.</p><p>While some neighbors describe them as a seemingly happy couple, co-workers and other neighbors say that she was the victim of domestic abuse.</p><p>Irene Martinez Henley, who worked with her at Teriyaki House on East Washington Street, says that the Mullennix couple and their two daughters, 10 and 18 years old, looked like a normal family and that Ken “didn't look like the type of guy” who would murder anyone.</p><p>She says that Ken Mullennix once pushed his wife down the stairs, broke a sink when he was drunk and threatened to kill himself if she left him.</p><p>“He was very controlling. He wanted to keep her in the house all the time,” Henley said. </p><p>Kam Vongphrachanh, the owner of Teriyaki House, says that Ken Mullennix was a “nice guy, and a good husband, normally.”</p><p>“But when he got drunk, he changed into a different person,” he said. “He would choke her when he got drunk.”</p><p>Vongphrachanh feels that Ken Mullennix had anger-management problems that reached a breaking point.</p><p>Henley and Vongphrachanh both urged Buapha Mullennix to notify the police about her husband's behavior, but she was reluctant to do so because she was shy about speaking English and didn't think that they would believe her.</p><p>“And she would say, ‘Everybody's got problems,'” Henley said.</p><p>Many of the problems Buapha Mullennix apparently faced are typical of domestic violence victims, however.</p><p>“Often times, victims are led to believe that if they do not speak English or if they are from another country, they will not be believed,” said Michelle Doyel, the Petaluma Police Department's advocate for victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse. “Batterers will use various types of threats and manipulations to keep victims from reporting. </p><p>“Also, it can be intimidating to seek services or report abuse, especially if you do not speak the dominant language of the area. But there are language services available in Petaluma and Sonoma County, and law enforcement is here to help.”</p><p>Sometimes, victims fear police due to misinformation provided by their abuser, previous experience with police in their native country, stigamatizing by society and, at times, lack of knowledge about local domestic violence laws, she added.</p><p>Abusers sometimes try to isolate their victims to gain more control over them, Doyel said.</p><p>“This might mean moving to a different state or country, or slowly cutting off the victim's access to friends and family,” she said. “It can be accomplished by outright direct threats, such as, ‘If I catch you hanging around the house with so-and-so, I'm going to ...' or subtle manipulation, such as, ‘I think your friend so-and-so is trying to come between us. I don't think she or he is a good influence on you.'</p><p>“This is done repeatedly until the victim or survivor finds themselves feeling completely isolated. This is when we hope people will reach out to local services. And we hope family and friends will say to their loved ones, ‘No matter what, we are here for you.'”</p><p>Some abusers threaten their victims, Doyel says.</p><p>“Threats are a main tool,” she said. “They range in severity. While some don't constitute a crime, they can still cause emotional distress and pressure victims and survivors from reporting or leaving. </p><p>“Victims sometimes don't leave out of fear. And this fear is valid. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim is attempting to leave the relationship. It is why we encourage people to seek help as soon as possible, to get support and to create safety plans.”</p><p>Abusive relationships frequently involve alcohol, Doyel said.</p><p>“An overwhelming amount of domestic violence reports involve the use of alcohol, either by suspect, victim or both,” she said.</p><p>Domestic-violence victims often seek out Doyel for help.</p><p>“I'm here to support victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking,” she said. “At the scene of an incident in which law enforcement is called, I provide support and information. I assist in safety planning, restraining orders, transportation to emergency shelters and or courts, referrals to services for counseling and other services.</p><p>“I'm here to listen.”</p><p>(Contact Dan Johnson at dan.johnson@arguscourier.com. Philip Riley contributed to this article.)</p>