GUEST OPINION: Facts about domestic violence

<p>Sonoma County suffered its first domestic violence homicide of 2010 with the murder of Buapha Mullennix of Petaluma. This case, and The Press Democrat's coverage of it, provides an opportunity for our community to learn about domestic violence, how to identify these terrible crimes and more importantly how to intervene if we suspect that a family member, friend, neighbor or co-worker is being abused by their partner. </p><p>The dynamics of domestic violence are not well enough known, as is evidenced by the statements of the Mullennix's neighbors and friends. Those interviewed recounted that the family appeared to be “typical and happy” and described the alleged murderer as a “mellow guy” and “not an abusive person.”</p><p>The fact is that domestic violence occurs behind closed doors in many families we may consider “typical and happy.” The reality of what is taking place in these homes is horrific, as was this case which included the abuse and murder of a beloved household pet, isolation from friends and family and actual physical violence that ultimately resulted in the murder of the mother of two children.</p><p>It is well documented that a perpetrator who may appear in public to be “mellow” and “not abusive” may take on a much different persona in his or her intimate relationships. </p><p>Domestic violence is a hidden crime that does not become public until a call for help is made. In this case, a call was made to a National Domestic Violence hotline by Buapha Mullennix's co-workers who were told that she would have to place the call herself.</p><p>The YWCA Sonoma County operates the county's domestic violence hotline and wants to assure our community that although we would prefer speaking directly to the victim, we discuss how the caller can best empower the victim to make the call by educating her about the impact of domestic violence on her children, the fact that the violence will not end but in fact will escalate and that there are professionals who can provide safe shelter, legal assistance and other support services. </p><p>Buapha Mullennix was an immigrant from Thailand, and this increased her vulnerability. Many immigrants who do not speak fluent English are hesitant to call for help. It's important that the public is made aware that YWCA services and those of law enforcement are provided with the assistance of an interpreter if the victim does not speak fluent English. </p><p>The YWCA Sonoma County provides safe and confidential shelter and support services for victims of domestic violence and their children. The YWCA's 24-hour hot line can be reached at 546-1234. </p><p><i>Jane Cohill of Santa Rosa is board president for the YWCA Sonoma County.</i></p>