The value of being a mentor

<p>We can all remember a time in our life when we needed someone to talk to. Someone who listened without judging and encouraged us to hang in there, to be our best, to trust our own instincts. Someone who offered new ideas and was always there for us, week after week, with a smile and a pat on the back. That “someone” is a mentor.</p><p>Mentor Me Petaluma is a 10-year-old youth mentoring program whose mission is to help at-risk young people succeed in school and in life by providing them with long-term one-on-one adult mentors. More than 700 young people have been matched with mentors since 2001; over 225 are currently participating in supportive and fun mentorships. </p><p>At times, life isn't easy. Families and children struggle. Parents may be stressed by the current economic woes and uncertainty about a better future, and children are often the innocent victims of difficult situations. It can truly be a life-saving intervention to provide an extra caring adult in their lives. A mentor is a neutral party who meets a young person free from expectations, and can forge a relationship in which mentees feel comfortable sharing difficult problems that they might not share with parents or teachers.</p><p>No special skills or background are needed to be a mentor. The “EPA” of mentoring — empathy, patience and attention — provides the focus for mentorships that thrive over time. Mentors come from all walks of life, as do mentees. Carl Jung said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” The magic of mentoring is that it changes two lives simultaneously. Mentoring is simple and profound — a simple intervention of time and consistent support provides dramatically profound effects on many lives. </p><p>In 2008, the Petaluma Youth Council interviewed hundreds of local young people and asked them what they needed to succeed and feel connected to the community. The overwhelming response was “just one adult” to accept them for who they are, to listen, to help them figure out who they are and where they fit in, to be kind and patient and not pre-judge them. They described a mentor. </p><p>Mentors receive training and ongoing support by Mentor Center coordinators. Making the right match with a young person is a key focus. Mentor Me Petaluma's staff is experienced in supporting mentorships over time, troubleshooting when needed and ensuring that both mentors and mentees have a positive experience from mentoring. Mentor Centers have games, books, toys, art supplies, sports equipment and more. After the first few months, it is possible to take the mentorship out into the community — hiking, fishing, the theater, the beach, bowling, high school football games, San Francisco — opening a window to a wider world is an integral part of the mentoring experience. Mentors learn from their mentees as well. Examples of resilience abound. Cross-cultural and cross-generational lessons are learned. Life-long friendships are forged.</p><p>Enjoy the life-changing effects of mentoring! One mentor said, “When I go into that mentor center and spend time with my mentee each week, my sorrows at the state of the world roll away.” A principal stated, “Mentor Me Petaluma truly leaves no child behind.” And a young mentee reported, after having her new mentor for a few months, “Before, I had nobody to talk to. Now I have a friend.”</p><p>Mentor Me Petaluma's waiting list continues to grow; 80 young people are waiting to be matched with mentors. Download a mentor application from the website at www.mentormepetaluma.org or call the office at 778-4798. </p><p>A Q&A for prospective mentors will be held on Monday, Nov. 21 from 7 to 8 p.m. at Acre Coffee, 21 Fourth St. in downtown Petaluma. Everyone welcome.</p><p>Be a mentor! Change two lives. One will be yours.</p><p>(Val Richman is the executive director of Mentor Me Petaluma and has been a mentor for 10 years. She currently mentors an 11-year-old girl at La Tercera Elementary School.)</p>