TEEN ESSAY: Don't be afraid to approach someone you like
Published: Sunday, May 5, 2013 at 2:18 p.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, May 5, 2013 at 2:18 p.m.
He could be fiddling with his lock on his locker right next to you, waiting in line at the snack bar in front of you, walking through the deserted hallway during advocacy right past you, and if you’re really unlucky, sitting right next to you in class. You seem so far away in your own ridiculous assumption that saying, “Hey,” will completely turn him off and that you’re better off waiting for him to make the first move.
Please. The Stone-Age societal rule that the guy is supposed to be the instigator is complete bologna sandwich. Granted, for some guys, making the first move is a test of masculinity and separates the boys from the men depriving them of that opportunity could be, well, a blow to their egos.
However, I think you would be surprised that it would be somewhat of a relief for the guys if we females took the time to take a chance on them once in a while. It’s important for girls to realize there is no harm approaching a guy if you’re tired of waiting for him to approach you.
The critical factor is recognizing how to be forward without making the situation awkward. Being forward when trying to get a guy’s attention consists of sweet subtleties rather than going all out to get his attention.
The point is, ladies, if you want to get recognized by a certain someone but may be nervous about rejection (Who isn’t?), just take it one step at a time.
There’s no need to show up at his locker after every class or memorize the time he arrives at school. Instead, a simple “Hi,” followed by his name, will do. And if he responds with a “hello” back, it doesn’t mean you have to suddenly strike up an amazingly interesting conversation. You got his attention, maybe not to the major extent that you desired but him being receptive to you was your objective, right?
So be happy with your progress! You showed enough confidence and friendliness for him to notice and you should feel good about that.
A little goes a long way when it comes to putting yourself out there. The subtler you are, the more mystery you possess, which can be intriguing for a guy. Now, I’m not saying he’s going to go out of his way to try and figure out your intentions or ask you out only after a few times of friendly conversation or innocent flirting; however, he’ll be more accustomed to your sweet smile and it’ll be something he will recognize and remember you. The more unique the hints or gestures, the more likely he’ll remember you by and maybe even look forward to seeing you sometime later.
Now, I understand for some, approaching a guy and making the initiation seems futile because maybe it has not worked in the past. It’s a discouraging feeling, and I understand and know that feeling exactly. But you cannot let one guy’s pass on you define you or become detrimental to your confidence.
If he ignored your courage or friendliness, he’s not worth your time and I sincerely hope you realize it’s not your fault. If you’ve become bored of waiting for him to come around and he’s not, somebody has to make the move and figure out which way things are going to go. If it’s taken more than three months for you to figure out what his intentions are, I hate to say it, but he’s probably not going to make any move anytime soon.
So, you have two choices: either wait around and not make the effort that could change everything, or just move on and make that effort on something that is worth much more of your time. It’s up to you to see the change in your relationship with guys. So what are you waiting for?
Reprinted from Maria Carrillo’s Puma Prensa student newspaper.
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