From a man found hanging from a cross to a woman who was apparently resurrected from the dead, 2012 produced more than its share of wild and weird Petaluma stories.
As Petaluma Police Officer Dustin Rodriguez said as he helped bring Eli Lucas down from a cross he had planted on the corner of D Street and Petaluma Boulevard, "This is a little much for Petaluma."
Maybe, but it did happen as did a bank reporting a very much live customer dead, pigeon's launching a saturation bombing attack in a downtown Petaluma garage and a would-be martial artist who injured himself while roundhouse kicking a window.
2012 was a very good year for quirky news in our community.
Cross hanging: No one could quite figure out what point part-time actor and filmmaker Eli Lucas was trying to make when friends tied him to a cross and planted him in Walnut Park in early March.
"I died so that you would hate gays, hate women, hate blacks, hate your neighbors, hate your children. I died so that you would live in hate," he shouted from his perch.
When police arrived to abate the public nuisance, Lucas politely climbed down, lugged his cross to a waiting SUV and rode away comfortably into Petaluma history.
Dead woman lives: In February, Petaluman Patricia Goddard Sirna was shocked to discover that Bank of America had declared her dead.
The news came as a surprise not only to Goddard Sirna, but to her friends, who invited her to a mourning party featuring wilted flowers and a cake smeared with black icing.
The bank's error had a serious side. Being "deceased" ruined her credit rating and, despite cooperation from the bank, it took several weeks to get her finances straightened out.
Bless this burning house: In March, a Petaluma woman attempted to "bless" her house with a burning container of rum and bath salts.
The blessing apparently worked because the only damage to the home was a charred bathroom door when flames from the container set a towel on fire.
Firefighters deemed the fire accidental.
Window wins: In April, a 21-year-old Petaluma man lost a mixed martial arts match with a window on Kentucky Street.
Police said the man, identified at Brent Clewis, kicked at the window of the Sleep City Mattress Center.
The window broke, but Clewis severed his Achilles tendon and suffered an arterial bleed that required 30 staples at Petaluma Valley Hospital where he was treated.
The window was awarded a TKO.
Pigeon poop: In March, city officials admitted they had no easy answers on how to evict a flock of trespassing pigeons who homesteaded in the city's Keller Street Garage.
The interlopers threatened vehicles and drivers alike with a deluge of waste that disgusted and discouraged downtown shoppers.
"The garage is fantastic for my business and all the businesses around here, but everyone complains about the pigeons,"said Lou Rosenberger, owner of the downtown Far West Trading company. "The pigeons and their mess are dreadful and it is crazy that nobody can do anything about it."
While the city and downtown merchants squabbled over who should be responsible for dealing with the problem, the pigeons cooed contentedly and pooped away.
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