The Sidewalk Talk movement comes to Petaluma

“Free listening, no agenda,” says Marie Carlson of unique monthly event|

Talking to strangers is not everyone’s idea of a good time.

But for the half-a-dozen trained volunteers gathering together on this warm Saturday morning in June, in Petaluma’s Putnam Plaza, the possibility of sitting down to chat with random people over the next four hours clearly feels like anything but a chore. As experienced participants in the three-year-old, world-wide Sidewalk Talk community listening project - launched in San Francisco in 2015 - most of the volunteers today have already seen that a simple open-air conversation between two people in lawn chairs can be a truly powerful thing.

“We’re not charging anything, we’re not selling anything, and we have no agenda - we’re just here to listen because we think people need to be heard,” explains Petaluma’s Marie Carlson, the City Leader for the Sidewalk Talk Petaluma. She’s been organizing these events on the third Saturday of the month for the last four months.

“We’re are all volunteers,” she says, gesturing to where the other “listeners” are waiting in chairs under the trees, just off the sidewalk, between Starbucks and Della Fottoria. Numerous signs are propped up in front of the chairs - “Sidewalk Talk. You talk. We listen.”

Carlson herself, stationed on the sidewalk to greet pedestrians, holds a bright pink sign stating, “Let’s talk about anything.” All of this is definitely grabbing people’s attention. Most of what Carlson does for the first half-hour is answer people’s questions about what’s going on.

“We’re basically here to listen to you,” she says. “Anything you want to talk about, we’ll listen. That’s what’s going on.”

The age-range of trained listeners today is roughly between 16 and 70, which includes author Gene McCreary, Annie Hard, Brian Carlson (Marie’s husband), and Loran Padgett (Marie’s daughter), and Jess Orr. Each one has gone through an online training program, and has signed a waiver to participate.

Sidewalk Talk began as a grassroots experiment in San Francisco that has rapidly blossomed into a worldwide movement. Founded by Traci Ruble, a Bay Area therapist, the earliest seeds of Sidewalk Talk were conversations with other therapists about the importance of being heard. Gradually, an idea emerged, and after some planning and discussion, Ruble and some colleagues carried chairs out into public places, put up signs saying things like “Free Listening,” and waited to see if anyone would take a seat and talk. About … whatever they wanted to talk about. The short version of what happened next was that people did sit down, and they did talk, and today, Sidewalk Talk events are held daily all around the world.

For Carlson, a relationship coach, and her husband Brian, discovering Sidewalk Talk and meeting Ruble provided a channel for the energies they tapped into as coordinators of shelter and emergency efforts in Petaluma during the October wildfires. According to Carlson, the sense of community they discovered through working with so many people at the Petaluma Fair Grounds during the emergency was so powerful, they immediately wanted to find a way to keep that connection with their community alive. Not long after, they heard about Sidewalk Talk, participated as volunteer listeners for several months, and quickly decided it was something they needed to bring home to Petaluma.

“This is the fourth time we’ve done this in Petaluma,” Carlson says, explaining that to use a public space in this way, she pays $53 a month for a Parks Department permit, and must acquire liability insurance for the four hours that Sidewalk Talk is happening. Being an all-volunteer program, those funds currently come out of the Carlson’s pockets. “We hope to make it a monthly thing. People are doing this all over the country. “We’d love to see it happen in all fifty states.”

Having only just begun this morning, there are currently now willing talkers in any of the listeners’ chairs.

“The first one is always the hardest,” allows Carlson with a smile. “But once people see other people sitting and talking, it can get busy fast. People assume we’re selling something, or that we’re religiously affiliated, or that we’re political in some way. Or they assume that, in order to sit down and talk, they have to be having some sort of psychological crisis or some really dramatic thing going on in their life.”

A lot of what people have to say actually appears rather benign, on the surface. Some just want to talk about the weather, or something in the news, or to find out how they can become listeners themselves.

Recalls Carlson, “I had one person in San Francisco who sat down and decided we were going to play 20 Questions. ‘You ask me a question and I’ll ask you a question,’ he said. That was the only way he’d sit down with us. It turned out to be a wonderful experience for both of us, I think.”

Asked if anyone has ever sat down and simply told a joke, Carlson laughs.

“No! But that would be amazing!” she says.

A few moments later, an elderly man passes by with his wife, heading for the coffee shop. He reads the sign in Carlson’s hands, stops, and returns to asks her what’s going on. Following Carlson’s brief explanation, he asks if it would be okay for him to talk about politics with someone, once he gets his cup of coffee. She waves to Brian, who waves back.

“That’s my husband. That’s your guy,” she says. “He’d love to hear whatever you have to say.”

To use a public space in this way, Carlson explains, requires paying $53 a month for a permit from the Parks Department, and acquiring insurance for the four hours she and the other volunteers are on duty.

“Nobody is paid,” says Carlson. “This is all out of our pocket. We pay for the permit. I made the signs. The chairs are ours, and we just went and bought five more last night.”

Ten minutes later, the elderly man is back, coffee in hand. He takes a seat in the shade in front of Brian, and the conversation begins. By now, two of the other seats are filled. Despite the heat, and the odd novelty of the whole thing, the fourth Petaluma Sidewalk Talk is clearly working.

By 1:00 p.m., dozens of folks have stopped by for a quick conversation. Since all of them are private, Carlson gives no details, but summarizes the day as including parents who feel distant from their adult children, folks wanting to share some good news about a marriage in the family, to war veterans needing to tell someone a bit of their story.

“Needing to be heard is a universal thing,” says Carlson. “We all need it, sometimes. This is a powerful, simple way to give that to people who can’t find anyone to listen. Well, we’re here to listen. That’s what we do. For some, it’s just entertaining and fun. For others, it can actually change their life.”

(Send comments to Community Editor David Templeton at david.templeton@arguscourier.com or call 707-776-8462)

UPDATED: Please read and follow our commenting policy:
  • This is a family newspaper, please use a kind and respectful tone.
  • No profanity, hate speech or personal attacks. No off-topic remarks.
  • No disinformation about current events.
  • We will remove any comments — or commenters — that do not follow this commenting policy.