TEEN VOICE: Don’t teach girls to say no, teach boys not to harass

Since the middle of elementary school, teachers and parents have been beating us over the head with the study of “human interaction,” which is just a fancy way of saying “dumbed-down sex ed.” They teach two very different messages for boys and girls. Us girls are taught to spot the signs of sexual harassment, to say no, to protect ourselves. We are told, “Stay on your guard.” Boys are taught anatomy. They are taught the places not to go, the things not to touch, and then they’re free to go.

This is completely irrational. We should be teaching our girls how to protect themselves, but we should also teach our boys to not harass. Girls are constantly held to a double standard in a world that claims to protect us and then hangs us out to dry.

Young women in the Middle East are the best examples of this. While the standards of beauty and cultural interactions differ vastly from those of the United States, the problem remains; women are alternately objects of desire and then objects of vileness. If a woman is attacked and sexually assaulted or raped, it is her fault. Many women are stoned, lynched or killed because they “ruined themselves,” or “dishonored their families.”

There is absolutely no punishment for the attacker. Girls, who rarely receive any schooling in the Middle East at all, get very little training in how to ward off unwanted advances, and therefore are open targets in the eyes of those who would hurt them.

I get it; different cultures have different customs. So let’s put the good old USA in the spotlight. We say we are so progressive, yet 80 percent of rapes and sexual assaults go unreported because the system is stacked against women.

We are taught to feel ashamed of being attacked, to hide away because there’s no chance we would win in court. We have become a minority in a society of which we make up half the population, in which we carry the children, in which we are held below. We are told to say “no,” but what good is one word against an attack like that? Boys should be taught not to rape, and girls should not have to live with the fact that they could be attacked and no one could help.

Even our own media and culture seems designed to force this reality on us.

There are many TV shows that use rape as a tool. The best example is “Law and Order: SVU (Special Victims Unit),” which is a “Law and Order” spin-off that focuses exclusively on rape and sexual crimes. Another, more obscure reference, is the rape whistle that Tina Fey’s character Liz Lemon carried on the show “30 Rock.” These shows do their best to show how violent and demoralizing rape can be, and to show that there are a few politicians and law enforcement that will do everything to help rape victims. They have one fatal flaw in this pursuit; they prove their point too well.

There are only a select few officials who will help, care or even acknowledge rape. According to the New York Times, Missouri’s Republican Congressional candidate Todd Akin once declared, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” when speaking about pregnancies resulting from rape.

This is utterly despicable. There is no such thing as a “legitimate rape,” and Mr. Akin has no standing to declare any attack as such.

Look, people: No one likes to think about rape, but the fact is, ignoring and shoving aside the victims doesn’t stop anything. It makes the problem worse.

These women are scared, often depressed and ashamed. Those who are lucky enough to bring their attackers to trial have the odds against them.

I am not addressing the citizens of my city, not the citizens of any city, but the whole world: Open your eyes and force yourselves to look, because you might just save a life.

­-

(Kelly Galten is a senior at Petaluma High School.)