Candlelight vigils across Sonoma County after nightclub massacre

Members of Sonoma County’s LGBTQ community were shocked, frightened and angered Sunday by the shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando that left at least 50 dead and 53 more critically wounded.

Two hundred people turned out for a candlelight vigil Sunday night in Santa Rosa to remember the victims and to display unity in the face of violence they felt was targeted directly at the gay and lesbian community. Similar vigils were scheduled in Sonoma and Guerneville.

“Our community is strong and we will not be silenced by fear,” Santa Rosa Mayor John Sawyer said to a cheering crowd holding candles and rainbow-colored flags at Julliard Park. “We and our allies remember, we honor, and we fight.”

The attack comes halfway though Pride month, a public celebration of the LGBT community, leaving many with a sense of unease about the potential for violence at the nation’s remaining Pride events. It also struck fear in a community that has felt the sting of prejudice for decades, a feeling that many said had begun to fade in recent years.

“I remember walking in San Francisco with a friend many years ago, going to a club, and someone yelled out the window, ‘Faggot!’ And it shook me to my core. I felt the hate. I felt the insult, and it made me afraid,” said Sawyer, who came out as gay when he was 22. “I carry the fear with me every day of my life. I do. I don’t know how to shake it. ... I still carry a basic fear of being able to be who I am.”

In Guerneville, 150 people gathered at a vigil organized by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, which sought donations to send to the Orlando chapter of their organization.

“Usually we raise money only for our own community, but this is bigger than us. A lot bigger,” Joseph Lunn, also known as Sister Wilma Titzgro.

“This is devastating for our community, of course, and it’s really hard - especially if you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve been discriminated against for being gay - to know that in this age, it can still cost you your life,” Lunn said Sunday.

As news of the shooting spread Sunday morning, people at Guerneville’s R3 Hotel - known for its gay-friendly atmosphere - crowded together around bar televisions, crying, and holding each other.

“It’s very disconcerting that this can be allowed to happen,” hotel manager Jeff Bridges said. “It puts you on edge again that you have to be even more vigilant and be more careful of that strange person that just walked by, when maybe you wouldn’t have been that way before.”

Bar manager Rodger Jensen visited Pulse Orlando - the nightclub where the shooting happened - while vacationing in Orlando in January.

“It was so incredible to watch our next generation just be able to be free, and now that has been pushed back years,” he said. “There’s fear now again. ... We’ve worked so hard to be loved and accepted, and the movement has been so strong, and now it’s like going backwards.”