How we eat will determine which restaurants survive 2021

In late November, 10-year-old Micah Newman-Schafer of Petaluma told his parents that all he wanted for the holidays was cash to donate to people in need and to help save endangered animals.

While his mother is used to hearing this type of talk (and never tires of it), what struck Rachel Newman was that Micah was specifically concerned for restaurant workers. She comes from a restaurant background but that was well before Micah was born.

Newman’s grandfather was a restaurateur who started with a drug store in L.A., then moved on to a restaurant in Palm Springs before opening others, including Solomon Grundy’s in the Berkeley Marina (now called Skates) and the Bustles & Beaus bar on Powell Street in San Francisco (later the Gold Dust Lounge).

Newman grew up in Santa Fe and loved hearing all her grandfather’s restaurant war stories. When she was old enough, she worked every front-of-house job there was, including a long stint at Santa Fe’s famed Zia Diner. She finished out her restaurant career as a bartender and then made the short leap to psychotherapist, moving to San Francisco in the early 2000s for grad school.

She met husband Scott Schafer shortly thereafter and the two lived on a 700-square-foot houseboat in Sausalito until Micah was 3 years old. They wanted Micah to have a yard to play in, so they moved the family to Petaluma.

“Best decision ever,” she said. “This place is freaking Brigadoon!”

She added, “I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the restaurant workers of the world. So, I guess my son had got this love in his bloodstream. He is also one of the most empathic, kind humans I have ever met. He's been this way since the beginning.”

Although Micah did receive other gifts for the holidays, the one he was most excited about was a $100 Monopoly bill representing the $100 real dollars he could donate to any charity. His parents offered a few suggestions, but Micah wanted to do the research himself and he ended up donating to COTS, World Wildlife Foundation, fair elections for Georgia’s senate race and the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund (rerf.us).

Through the help of over 50 companies and organizations, as well as food celebs like Sonoma County’s Guy Fieri, RERF has raised over $21 million to help more than 40,000 restaurants workers who have suffered financially from COVID-related restaurant shutdowns.

Micah’s story reminds me of one I heard from a friend years ago, about his 5 year old daughter. It was her birthday and more than anything, she loved flowers and had received many bouquets. After enjoying them for a day or two, her parents asked if she would consider sharing some of her flowers so that others might enjoy them as well. She thought about it and decided to give it a try, at which point they drove to a nearby old folks home.

Shy and hesitant at first, the little girl really opened up when she saw the looks on people’s faces as she handed out the flowers one by one from each bouquet. She made several rounds and even after handing out all the flowers, she wanted to stay and visit. The positive energy she helped create proved intoxicating. She was hooked.

In the car on the way home, the little girl did some quick math and seemed to realize that giving the flowers away brought so much more happiness than if she had kept them all for herself. She like this idea so much that when they arrived home, she immediately ran inside, grabbed her remaining bouquets and asked her parents if they could go back. To reinforce their child’s newfound passion for making others smile, they actually visited a different old folks home so that she would see that there were even more people she could touch with her birthday flowers.

Micah’s story is also a great reminder that it is never too early to teach our young about giving what they can as well as giving of themselves and is definitely going to help shape the gifts we give to our young family members when the birthdays and holidays roll through in upcoming years.

Once we realize that giving is often more satisfying than getting, it takes very little to make a huge collective difference to the community.

Bringing it home

This comes to mind right now because our restaurants have again been forced into a to-go only business mode. Many diners have voiced that they are trying to support our local restaurants but feel like their contribution is insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

This could not be further from the truth.

Although most restaurants are hurting, I hear from scores of owners who express gratitude for how much support they see as many of us have really embraced the take-out offerings and literally, put our money where our mouths are.

“Buy local, or bye local” is a catch phrase that has been around for a while, but is really hitting home these days, especially with our local restaurants, food purveyors and producers. Just think about a life without one’s favorite restaurants in order to get some real perspective about where our help is needed most. If we think about missing our favorite meals because our favorite restaurant has gone under and is sitting vacant or replaced by a fast-food chain, it certainly can inspire our buying decisions.

Recently, Los Reyes made plans to shut down for good. Many said they wished they knew the restaurant was struggling so they could have supported them more. Amanda Karas, owner of the now-shuttered Wine or Lose Board Game Café, provided some insight into what owners are currently going through.

“Y’all. Every. Single. Locally. Owned. Restaurant. Is. Close. To. Shutting. Down. If you love a local spot, and want to see them thrive into 2021, you need to support them now, not when they send out a cry for help,” she said.

Like many, we too have upped our take-out intake in order to do our part. But also, like many, we would if we could, but cannot afford to “eat out” every night. Instead, we have picked a handful of favorites that we feel we really could not live without and have tried to support them as best we can. We try to order from one of them each week and rotate through a couple of our secondary choices each month too. We also partake in any special dinners, such as wine or beer paired dinners, as we are particularly fond of those and like to support the chefs, owners and makers who share that kind of creativity with us.

When ordering food, consider buying booze too, if it is an option. Restaurants usually have a far better margin on booze than food so even just a bottle of beer here, a cocktail there or a bottle of wine every now and again, can make a big difference to the restaurant’s bottom line for that night. And tip like it is your server’s last day on the job, because it very well could be. That extra $10 or $20 may not only help them make rent or buy new shoes for the kids, but the sense of support they will feel is priceless.

Going hand in hand with tipping, we need to remember that restaurants are doing their best and everyone can use a little patience. Trattoria Roma (trattoriaromapetaluma.com) posted this reminder: “Trattoria Roma would like to thank you all for your continued support. Do to shelter in place...we cannot always provide the level of service we strive to provide. Just know, we are doing our best, with the limited staff we have. We thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for your continued support.”

Unique need to fill

Have you seen the teams of people seen cleaning our Petaluma streets recently? I learned that this is part of Downtown Streets Team (streetsteam.org/petaluma), a nonprofit program that distributes gift cards for basic needs, as well as access to employment and case management services, in exchange for volunteers who help beautify our community. Every Thursday, they feed their 20-member team, in large part due to donations from two local restaurants.

Currently, Lunchette (lunchettepetaluma.com) and Stockhome (stockhomerestaurant.com) feed the crew once a month each, but more help is needed. Our local restaurants are often the first to jump in and help feed those in need, whether donating to fundraisers or stepping up during emergencies like the fire evacuations. Lunchette is also donating all its excess food to nonprofit Una Vida, which helps feed hungry families.

However, our restaurants are hurting, too, and need our help to continue to give back.

Both Lunchette and Stockhome have donation buttons on their websites, or you can go directly to streetsteam.org/petaluma to get more information and to donate. Also, we need to move restaurants like these to the top of our list when ordering take-out, knowing that our hard-earned dollars are supporting a local business that turns around and shares with those in need.

No money to give?

Finally, for those that say, “I can’t afford to support our local businesses right now,” consider the ever-optimistic Target training manager and cashier Karen Evans, who adds more than her fair share of positivity to Petaluma. She posted another insightful thought to Facebook a few weeks ago, titled “Food for Thought.” Her suggestions are easy things we can all do to help our favorite local spots without spending a dime.

1) Write a positive review for a favorite business. Sharing our helpful experiences for others to see pays huge dividends for local businesses.

2) Tell family and friends about your favorites.

3) Follow the business on social media.

4) Comment on and share their posts.

5) Talk them up whenever you get the chance.

And here’s a final reminder to double-check whether items can be purchased locally, before putting more money in Amazon’s out-of-town pockets. Even shopping at the local Target does more for our town than shopping online, because chains pay taxes into the city and employ locals, keeping at least some of those dollars in Petaluma.