‘Star Wars,’ insiders and ‘Judgmental nerds’

“Star Wars” fans are a peculiar lot, admits humorist Oliver Graves, but there’s no reason they should “hate” folks who don’t give a fig about the “Force.” Fans of the X-Men, however .... don’t get him started.|

"You're going to hate me … but I've never seen ‘Star Wars’"

I do hear statements like that.

Personally, I am a big nerd so, of course, I've seen anything with the word “Star” in the title, from “Star Trek” to “Star Wars” and even (accidentally) "A Star is Born." I've seen them all. That's what I'm into. Is there a creepy wizard-like character in it? Is there some kind of stoic alien that seems human?

That stuff is as “up my alley” as dumpsters and puddles.

But if you’re not into it, okay. Why am I going to hate you?

Nerdy stuff is not for everyone. That's fine. Just because I'm a huge nerd doesn't mean I expect other people to have also seen all (or any) of these things. I realize though, that people must be apologizing or explaining themselves all the time because there are nerds out there who are less respectful to those who’ve not seen these films. When someone tells such people they've never seen “Star Wars,” they look shocked, as if this movie had existed in everyone's home on VHS, DVD, and Laserdisc for decades.

In the nerd world, it's almost like being at breakfast and saying you've never had orange juice. Now try to describe orange juice to that person to get them to want it.

“It's like a sweetened version of battery acid and has these fish scale-like flakes in it. Still want some orange juice?” Now, you may find out they've had oranges before and didn't like them, so why have the juice?

Want to have some fun?

Try telling a geek you've never seen “Star Wars” because you didn't like “Star Trek.”

Some will freak out in the most spectacular way. Others, you'll have to look deeply into their eyes and watch for the twitch, and you'll see a small puff of smoke that is a bit of their soul extinguishing.

Really, I hope the judgmental nerds knock it off, and I hope people stop apologizing for not being into big pop culture things.

That's okay by me, if maybe not for some people.

So, no, I don't hate you if you can't name a single X-man.

I hope we can move towards a better future where we stop making people feel like outsiders because we've drawn circles around what it requires to be an insider. Don't apologize for feeling like a square. Try to angle a better outlook. Let people be into what they're into, and be happy to show them that movie or TV show if you like it so much.

Oh, and if you seriously don't know any of the X-men … please don't talk to me.

(Oliver Graves is a stand-up comic and “internet celebrity” (not his words, but it’s true) who can be followed on Instagram and Facebook, or through this website OliverGraves.com)

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