Petaluma Around the Clock: Foraging for food after hours

There is almost nothing to do at 2:25 a.m. in downtown Petaluma.

It’s been at least 2 hours since the movie theater ushered out its final few, hard-core “Avengers: Infinity War” fans, the last vestiges of whom waited all the way till 12:30 a.m. to view the much-discussed post-credit scene of Samuel L. Jackson uttering three-quarters of an R-rated word. The local bars have just recently closed, the bulk of their patrons having been successfully taxied or Lyfted or Ubered away into the night. In Putnam Plaza, the Speakeasy - one of the few downtown restaurants to remain open till 2 a.m. for late-night diners - has just closed up, only now turning off the cozy eatery’s beacon-like, outdoor patio fire-heater flame thing.

The literal last show in town - the Phoenix Theater’s midnight screening of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” - has also concluded, its whimsically-bedecked attendees having run out of Time Warp, all dancing raucously along the sidewalk, off to do the one-and-only logical thing one might do at this time of night in Petaluma.

That’s to forage for food.

Unfortunately, once the Speakeasy closes, the food options in this town become extremely limited. To capitalize on the need for late-late sustenance, New Yorker Pizzeria - just down the street from the Mystic Theater - has taken to selling single slices to hungry pedestrians out on the sidewalk.

But only till 2:30 a.m.

About 35 people are currently milling about in front of New Yorker, gobbling the last bits of pizza while happily retaining some of the loud, laugh-filled party atmosphere from the bars.

“Is there no more pizza?” a fellow shouts, as his cadre of associates glides up to the empty table, around which are numerous discarded pizza boxes, napkins, and other detritus. Apparently, trash cans are in short supply as well. In fact, there appear to be just two things out on the streets of Petaluma that are harder to find than a place to grab a snack. One is a trash can. The other?

“Hey, are there any restrooms around here?” a young lady asks her companion.

“No! Nothing is open this time of night!” is the plaintive reply.

Just then, graphically illustrating the need for late-night restrooms in the area, a full-bladdered improviser decides to use the front door a nearby shop as his own emergency port-o-potty.

“Dude!” remarks a passersby.

“Dude yourself,” retorts the visibly relieved urinater with a sheepish grin and quick zip of his fly.

Around the corner, at the 7-11, another small crowd has gathered, sitting on the curb to consume a variety of early morning munchies. Back down toward the hub of bars along Kentucky, the smell of hotdogs hangs in the air as a jovial fellow name Tim loads a portable wiener wagon onto a trailer.

Clearly, Tim is also closed for the night.

“Business is usually slow and steady for a few hours,” says Tim, who says he only occasionally sets up shop for the benefit of hungry bar-hoppers. “Things pick up when the bars get ready to kick people out, though, and folks start thinking about where they can grab a bite to eat. You gotta eat, right? So, if I’m available, I come down and cook up some hot dogs.”

A brief conversation ensues about the overall lack of places to eat after 2 p.m. in Petaluma.

“I guess there’s always Denny’s,” he says, “ever since Pete’s Henny Penny stopped being a 24/7 place. So now, once New Yorker stops selling pizza, there’s only Denny’s or maybe Jack in the Box. Are they still open this late? Even so, you can’t go in and sit down.”

It’s now 3:13 a.m. For the record, both Jack in the Boxes in town are closed. Taco Bell is still open, a long line of a nine or ten cars snaking slowly through the take-out line, almost as many cars parked in the lot.

“Thank you for coming to Safeway.”

So says a friendly voice on the intercom of the only 24 hour grocery store in Petaluma. Roughly twenty people are roaming the store, while a small group of folks sits outside sharing a bag of potato chips, engaging in a group chorus of “Let’s Do the Time Warp.” It’s not hard to guess where they’ve been tonight.

“Thank you for coming to Safeway,” says the Voice again, adding, “If Gluten free is what you are seeking, we’re here to help you, with delicious deli alternatives that suit the way you live. We offer only the freshest, best-tasting gluten free meats, then we top them off with delicious gluten free cheeses, spreads and condiments. So come to the deli now.”

The deli, for the record, is closed.

“Oh, we’re busy all night long,” affirms Sheri, the one-and-only cashier, who’s just rung up a customer’s Coke and bag of Fritos. “We have a pretty steady stream of people at this time. It’s steady before the bars close, it’s steady after the bars close, and then all night long.”

“In California,” says the Voice, “you cannot sell beer, wine for spirits between the hours of 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.”

Asked if she’s often questioned about places in town to eat this late - or this early, depending - she states the only restaurant guaranteed to be open morning, noon, and night.

“Welcome to Denny’s,” says Cristy, flying by with an armful of plates stacked with food.

It’s 3:35, and Denny’s is packed. Cristy, who appears to be the only server on staff tonight, is working hard, taking orders, pouring coffee, delivering food, and cashing people out. Somehow, she does it all with a smile.

“Have a seat, and I’ll get to you as soon as possible,” she tells a new arrival.

“Don’t tell me to chill!” hisses a young woman, sitting at a nearby table, where her apparent date has presumably just told her to chill while waiting for his hamburger. “I would rather just sit at home and sleep,” she adds, “than be out and awake in the middle of the night with people who tell me to chill.”

Across the aisle, a woman and woman are consuming strawberry shakes.

“The worst case scenario,” says the woman, “is you go to Sharon’s and get the U-haul, and then if you decide to come back right away, at least you still have the U-haul.”

And so it goes.

Across the street, Pete’s Henny Penny - once the only other 24-hour restaurant in town - is dark, waiting for dawn and its ?6 a.m. opening. According to owner Eleni Magoulas, reached later via email, she started closing the place early about a year ago, a result of several factors, including the high liability insurance charged to establishments staying open 24/7.

With literally nowhere else to go in town for a sit-down meal at 3:30 in the morning, Denny’s is clearly benefitting from being the only game in town.

“Usually about Two o’clock I get hit,” allows Cristy. “Then it stays really heavy until around 4. There are two other Denny’s in Santa Rosa. People could always go there, but people like to come to this one.” She looks up at the front door. “Welcome to Denny’s,” she tells a foursome just now entering. “Have a seat,” she smiles, sweetly, “and I’ll get to you as soon as possible.”